Posts Tagged ‘texas rangers’

Milton Bradley vs. Umpires

June 2, 2009

Recently the beloved Milton Bradley of the Chicago Cubs has been in the news.

Surprise surprise.

Here, he’s complaining about umpires being out to get him.

“What am I supposed to do? You lead the American League in OPS, and two years in the top three in the league in on-base percentage. All of a sudden now, I come to Chicago and I can’t see the ball no more? I don’t know a strike from a ball?

– Milton

What a glorious quote.

He thinks it began when he argued with one umpire, and the others are plotting against him because he disagreed with their colleague.

Top notch conspiracy theory Milton.

That also coming from the Milton Bradley that struck out on two pitches.


I think he’s trying to go with a “me against the world” mentality, and sure hope it works for him.

I loved him in Texas.

Besides, that mentality has worked for everyone from the 1980 Miracle Team to Britney Spears + Madonna.

Maybe Milton “Monopoly” Bradley should shave his head with Britney.

Or make out with Lou Piniella.

I would NOT pay to see that.

I’d pay to see him write a song with some upires, thats wassup.

all that's missing is milton. The 3 of them could talk it out in close quarters

all that's missing is milton. The 3 of them could talk it out in close quarters

Milton also is the man who tore his ACL arguing with an UMPIRE over a call at first base.

Maybe he is trying to instigate with them.

Whatever, he’s a nut.

That’s why you love him.

Plus he created america’s game, monopoly.



There’s a problem in the MLB

May 18, 2009

So not too long ago, i wrote an article about bobby jenkz throwing at ian kinsler, a jew.

And he was only fined $750 for doing so.

Well in a weekend game against the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim and We Can’t Pick One City So We’ll Take Two Angels, John Lackey was the starting pitcher.

And on the first throw, he threw behind the rangers leadoff hitter.

Who just happens to be the same jew that was targeted by Bobby Jenks.

That’s not a big problem, it happens often.

So on the second pitch, Lackey just “happened” to hit Ian.

Targeting Jews in baseball never seemed like a problem, but now it’s ever so present.

Kevin Youkilis should be warned, but nobody would ever hurt him.

It’s only because Ian is so gentle and nice.

So i will personally protect ian for the rest of the season, with my bare fists.

I still don’t think Ian knows the whole world of nazis are coming after him.

Jenks, Lackey, who’s next?

what the hell does this have to do with john lackey?

what the hell does this have to do with john lackey?

Bobby Jenks is a nazi

May 12, 2009

So i read today that Bobby Jenks of the chi-sox was fined for a purpose pitch.

and i proceeded to read into it.

Turns out B-jenkz was fined a whopping $750 for throwing behind ian kinsler of the texas rangers.

I know, 750 is a lot to anyone reading this blog, but to people this is about, 750 is like buying an all you can eat buffet at cici’s.

Now i’m craving cici’s!

But here’s the important part.

The pitch was thrown behind ian kinsler.

Ian kinsler, as you all know, is a jew, and not only a jew, but THE BEST jew in baseball.

I stand behind that also, so take that.

Now Jenks admitted that he threw it on purpose in retaliation to all of his teammates getting hit by texas IN THE PAST.

Who does that? I don’t hit you because of something you said a few weeks ago.

Mostly because i can’t cyber-slap you.

But that excuse is total poop.

I know why he threw it.

Because Ian is jewish, and Jenkz is trying to start anti-semitism in the us today.

It is now necessary to make the jump that Jenkz is at least an anti-semitist, and at the most to being a nazi.

Adolf Bobby Jenks.


how clever.

here is ozzie's sign to the mound for jenkz to exterminate the jew. because we only have one that i know of

here is ozzie's sign to the mound for jenkz to exterminate the jew. because we only have one that i know of

Zack Greinke, out of this world

May 5, 2009

This kid is amazing.

He turned my attention to him after his 2nd and 3rd starts which increased his scoreless streak over 30 games and had an amazing ERA, WHIP and K’s.

Now, he sits 6 starts in, at 6-0, 54 k’s, 0.4 ERA, .84 WHIP, and 6 hits per 9 innings.

Everyone knows how important wins, era, and k’s are.

But WHIP is actually an underrated stat along with h/9.

WHIP is walks and hits per inning pitched.

So basically, Zack lets less than one person on per inning pitched.

He’s had 3 complete games, with 2 shutouts, one of which came last night against a powerful Chicago white sox team.

He’a number one in baseball, including hitters and pitchers according to yahoo’s fantasy stats.

45 innings pitched, 2 earned runs.

Unheard of.

But the amazing thing is the backstory of Zack.

He had an article written about him in SI not too long ago, after he turned mine and the rest of the world’s heads towards him.

He came into the game as skilled as a young player can be, and dominated in his rookie season.

He became the royals pitcher of the year as a rookie.

It’s not really saying much, because its the royals, but a rookie doing that is still awesome.

Then he became unamused with the game.

It was boring to him, dominating at such a young age.

He even didn’t like pitching as much as hitting.

He felt like he was forced to become a pitcher.

He one time promised he’d throw a 50-mph curveball in the next inning he pitched.

50 mph is amazingly slow, kids in 5th grade can get that high with a fastball.

He threw it to Dmitri Young (what a perfect person to throw it to), and it looped in there slow as possible.

The mph reading?

50 on the dot.

He eventually had problems mentally and took a year or two off of baseball.

He had severe depression issues and finally sorted them out after a while.

He came back about 3 years later and continued his domination.

Now he puts the royals on his back, and is capable of making his own baseball league.

Like a blitz, but baseball.

He’d be the only one that didn’t cheat, and i’m sure he’d still dom the whole league.

He and nelson cruz should go together into the ZNBL.

Zack-Nelson Baseball League.

Where Fun Happens.

I can see it now.

What a stud.

What a stud.

This is actually the exact pitch where zack threw the 50-mph curveball.

But wait!?! Isn’t Dmitri’s bat broken?

Yes, it is. But Dmitri is so cocky he heard the comment from zacky and assumed he could hit that pitch with a broken bat so he tried.

And failed miserably.

"hey next time i'm gonna throw a 100 mph change-up." "Is that possible?" "Don't question me stupid catcher"

"hey next time i'm gonna throw a 100 mph change-up." "Is that possible?" "Don't question me stupid catcher"

What a rough guy.

Don’t mess with Zacky, or as he shall now be called, the Royal(e) with Cheese.

Pronounced roy-al.

This is a graph.

This is a graph.

It’s basically the red and pink dots versus the blue and green.

I hope the blue and green ones win, that’d be cool.

Actually this is some odd pitch chart that shows the break of all his pitches.

It’s good to have a graph like this, just in case you uneducated fools didn’t know.

See what i did there??????????????^________^

just in case.

as if he were named Justin Case.

Or Just Incase.

how ironic.