The NBA Finals!!1!

Tonight, the anticipated NBA Finals begin.

Orlando Magic vs. Los Angeles Lakers.

There is so much going on, and i’ll break down EVERYTHING that is important.

If its not on here, don’t worry about it.

Speaking of all those Q’s and not worrying about it, the first big topic is Kobe’s inability to get a title without Shaq.

They won 3 together, and Shaq left and won a 4th with Miami.

Kobe got straight up dommed last year in the finals, and is “looking for revenge”.

Psh.

Apparently winning a title without Shaq isn’t important to him, he just wants another.

Even Shaq twittered on the subject: “I am saying it today and today only, I want kobe bryant to get number four, spread da word.”

That is a direct quote, not me trying to use ebonics over the computer.

So now that Shaq’s pulling for him he’s automatically going to win right?

No.

Kobe ALWAYS tries to do the opposite of what Shaq says.

Shaq says trade me, Kobe says stay in LA.

etc.

Shaq says win title, Kobe says i’ll throw it.

Knowing that, Orlando will win the series.

Call your bookies!

2. Jameer Nelson coming back?!?!

He probably will but play scarce minutes, and I don’t think he should come back.

Stan Van Man has said he doesn’t think him coming back will tinker with the chemistry.

He won’t demolish it, but it will change.

Rafer “Reefer” Alston has been playing well and Anthony Johnson has been doing everything a 50-year-old in disguise can. Not to mention Courtney Lee using Rip Hamilton’s old mask to tear up the game.

Throwing another guard in changes the rotation, even for a little.

They get rest, but a guy who hasn’t played in a few months takes their spot.

If it isn’t broken, don’t fix it, right?

Don’t try to fix the Magic.

They’ll repeat next season with Jameer at the point.

Orlando is a pretty streaky team usually, because if the 3-ball is off, they lose.

But almost every game this postseason they have been on.

Can they keep it up?

Why not, it’s a magical run right now. (Get it?)

I love Mickael Pietrus.

He’s an all-around G.

When lil wayne asks what G is, the answer is Mickael Pietrus.

Just look at the name folks!!!!

is he a fan of 30's as well??

He can even throw punches with the best of them.

Golden State Warriors' Mickael Pietrus of France, wears oversized boxing gloves during a film shoot on media day.

How punny, and I even used the exact caption from the picture on the internet.

Go Mag.

P.S. Fun fact, the Magic have beaten the Boston Celtics and Cleveland Cavaliers.

If they beat the Fakers they will have beaten three 60-win teams in one postseason, which has never been done before.

History is on their side.

Cleveland doesn’t think they’re good enough

I found a nice video on espn about how good the Cleveland area thinks their teams are.

Even the newscasters have doubt in their beloved Cavaliers.

http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=4201858&categoryid=2378529

They even throw out phrases like “we’ll get them next year”

“I’m cancelling my sports illustrated”

and then after they show us some weather, which looks just awful until the upcoming friday, the sports guy goes crazy because he’s obviously watching the game on a tv off to the side.

Remember, this is the game LeBrawn hits a 3 to win with 1 second on the game clock.

He couldn’t care less about the weather.

How rude.

And then after last night’s game, the people probably doubted the cavs even more and assume it’s over after just one loss.

Hopefully they don’t treat baseball the same way.

It’s still a 7 game series folks, don’t give up yet.

Btdubz, Syracuse plays Cornell at 12 central time on espn.

Watch it, and watch my boys tear up the little red.

Celtics vs Magic series

This is a pretty good series, and there are many key matchups that determine the series.

I’m here to break down the biggest ones for you.

Don’t thank me, i’m doing it for myself.

Matchup #1

Stephon Marbury vs Anthony Johnson.

The head tat has had it goin on recently, so Starbury has the edge now.

But johnson’s veteran experience, and i mean VETERAN experience, can come through in the clutch in games 6 and 7.

johnson has been in the playoffs 6 times, and 2 of which he played one series.

and he has only been a slight force once.

and starbury had one good game, so this is the key little man matchup in all of the playoffs.

hahahhahahahhahahahaha. what a sweet jersey.

Matchup #2, for the big boys.

Marcin Gortat and Brian Scalabrine.

Both are the definition of big men.

Apparently Gortat is “getting offers from everyone in the leage” says Reggie Miller.

That’s obviously wrong,

i mean have you seen his nose?

nobody wants that nose bringing them down.

But he’s actually played well, so good for him.

Personally, i just straight up down right hate brian scalaweenie.

He looks dumb, shouldn’t wear a headband, and is the big man version of JJ redick(foreshadowing).

His numbers don’t matter because he’s a ginger.

So gortat get’s the nod in this crucial big boy matchup.

This next picture is utterly amazing, like it’ll blow your mind.

oh lord

NO COMMENT.

that’s probably the most emphatic no comment ever.

here's the ring that i don't deserve!!!

and the final matchup: JJ redick vs Eddie House.

I know you’re saying, whoaaaaaaaa welikesportz, those two people are actually good!!

well house is, and jj is ehh.

House is a pure shooter, and i hate his beard with a passion.

jj is pretty much a shooter too, but he has the ability to score on the dribble/layups.

Eddie is afraid of the painted area on the floor and maybe has taken two steps into the arc, not counting cuts.

He actually told doc rivers to not make him run through screens in the paint because he thought he’d get burnt or sucked into it.

Doc referred him to Erick Dampier, who literally sits in the paint for 20 seconds each posession.

They got along poorly.

End of Year Awards/ Playoffs

I’m gonna do a mondo combo blog on the important end of year awards and playoff predictions.

I’ll start with the important one.

Most Improved Player.

the MIP

Although kevin durant was good last year, he does it all this year.

steal, blocks, scores, assists, and scores on the oklahoma city thunder warnings.

only other competitior is devin harris

went from a decent player to a franchise guard.

Devin Franchise.

it works

Coach of the Year:

Mike Brown?

no.

watching lebrawn do what he do must be sooooo rough.

i’m sorry, do you want me to fan you or anything else while you wait?

how about a coach that did something

Rick Adelman.

took a potential trash team that traded their starting pg and lost tracy mcgrady and his lazy eye.

and they still made the 5 seed and have a great chance of upsetting portland.

but they won’t

Defensive player of the Year:

Dwight howard?

nah.

Chris “the Birdman” Andersen?

yes.

2.5 blocks a game, and isn’t inconsistent like howard, who either gets 7 or 0

birdman gets 2.5 every night

and how does he get half a block?

don’t worry about it.

6th man

jason terry

it was basically a race to try and talk to terry at the award ceremony as the 2nd man.

2nd? how about TO

travis outlaw.

roty:

Derrick Rose is an attractive pick, but not attractive looking.

Brook Lopez is an ugly ogre.

OJ Mayo and Russell Westbrook are beasts, but not quite leaders.

and Eric Gordon only scores.

Derrick by a shaved hair over oj.

If you have a foam finger in this picture, you're ugly. Sorry

and now to the mv3

sorry, mvp

if you want my pick, its d-wade

if u want america’s biased pick, its bron bron

no dis to bronny, but again,

you know how i feel about this.

Now to the playoffs:

Lakers vs. Utah.

Boy do i want utah to win, but lakers are too good.

lakeshow in 6.

Denver vs hornets.

Denver is pretty good, but c-piddy is a beest.

Denver in 7.

San Antone vs Dallas.

UPSET SPECIAL!!!!

dallas in 7.

Portland vs houston

basically a toss-up, i say portland cuz i love brandon roy.

Lakers vs portland

lakers in 4.

dallas vs denver

denver in 5

and then denver beats the lakers in 7 to get to the finals.

now to the east.

cleveland in 4.

doesn’t matter who they play

boston scrapes by chicago, in 6.

orlando beats philly in 6.

Miami Dwyane Wade’s win over atlanta in 6.

i love atlanta, but i think d-wade carries them.

bron vs wade is a great matchup

but bron and his real team wins in 5.

boston loses to orlando because of dwight in 7.

cleveland takes out dwight and the mag in 5.

cleveland vs denver

nobody picked it but me

i like denver and the way they play, but they just can’t get cold.

cleveland in 7.

classic series

and bron and melo duel it out so it’ll be tight.

good job bronny