Posts Tagged ‘anthony johnson’

The NBA Finals!!1!

June 4, 2009

Tonight, the anticipated NBA Finals begin.

Orlando Magic vs. Los Angeles Lakers.

There is so much going on, and i’ll break down EVERYTHING that is important.

If its not on here, don’t worry about it.

Speaking of all those Q’s and not worrying about it, the first big topic is Kobe’s inability to get a title without Shaq.

They won 3 together, and Shaq left and won a 4th with Miami.

Kobe got straight up dommed last year in the finals, and is “looking for revenge”.

Psh.

Apparently winning a title without Shaq isn’t important to him, he just wants another.

Even Shaq twittered on the subject: “I am saying it today and today only, I want kobe bryant to get number four, spread da word.”

That is a direct quote, not me trying to use ebonics over the computer.

So now that Shaq’s pulling for him he’s automatically going to win right?

No.

Kobe ALWAYS tries to do the opposite of what Shaq says.

Shaq says trade me, Kobe says stay in LA.

etc.

Shaq says win title, Kobe says i’ll throw it.

Knowing that, Orlando will win the series.

Call your bookies!

2. Jameer Nelson coming back?!?!

He probably will but play scarce minutes, and I don’t think he should come back.

Stan Van Man has said he doesn’t think him coming back will tinker with the chemistry.

He won’t demolish it, but it will change.

Rafer “Reefer” Alston has been playing well and Anthony Johnson has been doing everything a 50-year-old in disguise can. Not to mention Courtney Lee using Rip Hamilton’s old mask to tear up the game.

Throwing another guard in changes the rotation, even for a little.

They get rest, but a guy who hasn’t played in a few months takes their spot.

If it isn’t broken, don’t fix it, right?

Don’t try to fix the Magic.

They’ll repeat next season with Jameer at the point.

Orlando is a pretty streaky team usually, because if the 3-ball is off, they lose.

But almost every game this postseason they have been on.

Can they keep it up?

Why not, it’s a magical run right now. (Get it?)

I love Mickael Pietrus.

He’s an all-around G.

When lil wayne asks what G is, the answer is Mickael Pietrus.

Just look at the name folks!!!!

is he a fan of 30's as well??

is he a fan of 30's as well??

He can even throw punches with the best of them.

Golden State Warriors' Mickael Pietrus of France, wears oversized boxing gloves during a film shoot on media day.

Golden State Warriors' Mickael Pietrus of France, wears oversized boxing gloves during a film shoot on media day.

How punny, and I even used the exact caption from the picture on the internet.

Go Mag.

P.S. Fun fact, the Magic have beaten the Boston Celtics and Cleveland Cavaliers.

If they beat the Fakers they will have beaten three 60-win teams in one postseason, which has never been done before.

History is on their side.

Celtics vs Magic series

May 13, 2009

This is a pretty good series, and there are many key matchups that determine the series.

I’m here to break down the biggest ones for you.

Don’t thank me, i’m doing it for myself.

Matchup #1

Stephon Marbury vs Anthony Johnson.

The head tat has had it goin on recently, so Starbury has the edge now.

But johnson’s veteran experience, and i mean VETERAN experience, can come through in the clutch in games 6 and 7.

johnson has been in the playoffs 6 times, and 2 of which he played one series.

and he has only been a slight force once.

and starbury had one good game, so this is the key little man matchup in all of the playoffs.

hahahhahahahhahahahaha. what a sweet jersey.

hahahhahahahhahahahaha. what a sweet jersey.

Matchup #2, for the big boys.

Marcin Gortat and Brian Scalabrine.

Both are the definition of big men.

Apparently Gortat is “getting offers from everyone in the leage” says Reggie Miller.

That’s obviously wrong,

i mean have you seen his nose?

nobody wants that nose bringing them down.

But he’s actually played well, so good for him.

Personally, i just straight up down right hate brian scalaweenie.

He looks dumb, shouldn’t wear a headband, and is the big man version of JJ redick(foreshadowing).

His numbers don’t matter because he’s a ginger.

So gortat get’s the nod in this crucial big boy matchup.

This next picture is utterly amazing, like it’ll blow your mind.

oh lord

oh lord

NO COMMENT.

that’s probably the most emphatic no comment ever.

here's the ring that i don't deserve!!!

here's the ring that i don't deserve!!!

and the final matchup: JJ redick vs Eddie House.

I know you’re saying, whoaaaaaaaa welikesportz, those two people are actually good!!

well house is, and jj is ehh.

House is a pure shooter, and i hate his beard with a passion.

jj is pretty much a shooter too, but he has the ability to score on the dribble/layups.

Eddie is afraid of the painted area on the floor and maybe has taken two steps into the arc, not counting cuts.

He actually told doc rivers to not make him run through screens in the paint because he thought he’d get burnt or sucked into it.

Doc referred him to Erick Dampier, who literally sits in the paint for 20 seconds each posession.

They got along poorly.