Zack Greinke, out of this world

May 5, 2009

This kid is amazing.

He turned my attention to him after his 2nd and 3rd starts which increased his scoreless streak over 30 games and had an amazing ERA, WHIP and K’s.

Now, he sits 6 starts in, at 6-0, 54 k’s, 0.4 ERA, .84 WHIP, and 6 hits per 9 innings.

Everyone knows how important wins, era, and k’s are.

But WHIP is actually an underrated stat along with h/9.

WHIP is walks and hits per inning pitched.

So basically, Zack lets less than one person on per inning pitched.

He’s had 3 complete games, with 2 shutouts, one of which came last night against a powerful Chicago white sox team.

He’a number one in baseball, including hitters and pitchers according to yahoo’s fantasy stats.

45 innings pitched, 2 earned runs.

Unheard of.

But the amazing thing is the backstory of Zack.

He had an article written about him in SI not too long ago, after he turned mine and the rest of the world’s heads towards him.

He came into the game as skilled as a young player can be, and dominated in his rookie season.

He became the royals pitcher of the year as a rookie.

It’s not really saying much, because its the royals, but a rookie doing that is still awesome.

Then he became unamused with the game.

It was boring to him, dominating at such a young age.

He even didn’t like pitching as much as hitting.

He felt like he was forced to become a pitcher.

He one time promised he’d throw a 50-mph curveball in the next inning he pitched.

50 mph is amazingly slow, kids in 5th grade can get that high with a fastball.

He threw it to Dmitri Young (what a perfect person to throw it to), and it looped in there slow as possible.

The mph reading?

50 on the dot.

He eventually had problems mentally and took a year or two off of baseball.

He had severe depression issues and finally sorted them out after a while.

He came back about 3 years later and continued his domination.

Now he puts the royals on his back, and is capable of making his own baseball league.

Like a blitz, but baseball.

He’d be the only one that didn’t cheat, and i’m sure he’d still dom the whole league.

He and nelson cruz should go together into the ZNBL.

Zack-Nelson Baseball League.

Where Fun Happens.

I can see it now.

What a stud.

What a stud.

This is actually the exact pitch where zack threw the 50-mph curveball.

But wait!?! Isn’t Dmitri’s bat broken?

Yes, it is. But Dmitri is so cocky he heard the comment from zacky and assumed he could hit that pitch with a broken bat so he tried.

And failed miserably.

"hey next time i'm gonna throw a 100 mph change-up." "Is that possible?" "Don't question me stupid catcher"

"hey next time i'm gonna throw a 100 mph change-up." "Is that possible?" "Don't question me stupid catcher"

What a rough guy.

Don’t mess with Zacky, or as he shall now be called, the Royal(e) with Cheese.

Pronounced roy-al.

This is a graph.

This is a graph.

It’s basically the red and pink dots versus the blue and green.

I hope the blue and green ones win, that’d be cool.

Actually this is some odd pitch chart that shows the break of all his pitches.

It’s good to have a graph like this, just in case you uneducated fools didn’t know.

See what i did there??????????????^________^

just in case.

as if he were named Justin Case.

Or Just Incase.

how ironic.


Sidney vs. Ovie

May 5, 2009

This is the epic semifinal matchup in the east.

Pens vs Caps.

Caps vs Pens.

Playmaker vs pure-scorer/does everything player.

Sid may be the person you want to start a team with, because he gets assists and scores, but ovie also gets assists, scores, sets a physical presence, and is much stronger and whines less.

You can tell who i like in this matchup.

But tonight they both played evenly.

3 goals a piece

I couldn’t find whether this has happened before or not, so i’m going to assume it never has.

2 opponents getting hat tricks in the same playoff game.

the first playoff hat trick for each just so you know.

But now we know who actually has teammates.

Ovie, because he didn’t do 100% of the scoring.

just 75%.

Plus ovie celebrates more, and his are more fun.

the board slam is classic.

even something he does that is normal is so much cooler because it’s him.

and i have ovie’s t-shirt jersey and not sid’s.

nothing against sid, he’s a great player and is awful at growing facial hair, but he’s no fun.

Grow a beard, lose a tooth, drive over 200 mph in a new car, come from russia, stop whining.

all things sid should ddo that ovie does.

look at this feeble attempt at growing facial hair. I can do that.

look at this feeble attempt at growing facial hair. I can do that.

^^^^^^^^^^^ This is the reason the pens lost!!

ovie is the man.

Jussi Jokinen is turrin’ up the Playoffs

May 2, 2009

Jussi now plays for the Carolina Hurricanes who shocked the New Jersey Devils in the first round.

How did they shock them?

An upset, along with monster series’ from Eric Staal and Jussi himself.

Jussi had 3 goals and an assist in that series, and one goal was a the game-tying goal in game 7 with 1:20 left past THE Marty Brodeur, and another was a game winning goal.

This season, Jussi had 6 goals in 72 games this year split with Carolina and Tampa Bay.

This postseason, he’s racked up 4 goals in 8 games.

He’s definitely outperforming himself, and i like it.

I used to like him for his shootout prowess and overall swag, but now that he’s actually playing well and in the playoffs of all places, he’s on his way up in the NHL.

He’ll never be an Ovechkin or Crosby or Kane.

But he’ll be Jussi, and thats all you can want with him.

I don’t know if the shootout rule holds up in the NHL playoffs, but if it did Carolina would have a dynamite shooter in the shootout after one overtime.

In the regular season, after one overtime, the game moves to a shootout to decide a winner in a more exciting way.

If this rule continues into the playoffs, Carolina will have Staal and Jokinen in the shootout, and often 2 goals can make or break the shootout.

So carolina, enjoy Jussi as he plays well and cherish him as he deserves.

If you don’t(like Dallas), he will leave you and once you see his progress you will want him back.

He may just play on every team before he’s done with his career, and i don’t have a problem with that.

what a celebration. oh yeah, and this was against his former team.

what a celebration. oh yeah, and this was against his former team.

I ❤ Jussi.

Too Much Semin for the Rangers

April 29, 2009

As provacative and innappropriate the title sounds, it’s actually true.

Alexander Semin, a legit player for the Caps, scored the Caps first goal and was a huge part in the series and especially the game 7 win.

Sergei Fedorov put in a beautiful goal, and ovie had the impact he always does even if he didn’t score.

The player of the series is either Semin or the goalie, Simeon Varlamov.

So Semin did get a lucky deflection, but the presence he played in this series basically repaid him for it by having the puck ricochet in off someone’s skate.

Now the caps go off to play the pens because of a super late upset by the Carolina Hurricanes.

They netted 2 goals in just over a minute at the end of the game.

So now the series begins….

Sidney vs. Ovie.

Malkin vs. Semin.

Valramov vs. Fleury.

I still like the caps in this series, but the pens can surely ruin the run if they perform.

"How can a guy named Semin dominate us so much? It just doesn't seem right..."

"How can a guy named Semin dominate us so much? It just doesn't seem right..."

In that picture the florida players are the one saying the quote if that wasn’t obvious.

But i still find it ironic his name is semin.

It can be pronounced the gross way, or sem-inn.

The TV announcers prefer sem-inn just so they don’t have to say the other way on tv.

good choice, but man up right quick.

say semin.

Oh yeah, sharks lose, so hawks and detroit will battle it out in the west finals.

the wings better lose.

If the blackhawks and the caps get into the finals i’ll be the happiest little boy ever.

Young guns and some of my favorite players in the game.

The bulin wall especially.

I’m excited

here’s why caps will win it all:



Add Varlamov to the list.

I’m pretty sure he’s a rook.

NFL Draft

April 27, 2009

So the NFL Draft happened.

And it was as boring as ever.

Number one pick pre-released again…

cowboys get no early picks/tons of late worthless ones (minus manny johnson)

We even drafted a kicker when we have nicky folk.

The drafting of Stephen McGee of A&M is a good call because he is similar to romo, is young, tough, and kitna is deffff on his way down and out.

But apparently the draft was good for our special teams.

Yeah, 12 3rd round or later picks will do our team well.

And Stephen McGee can’t help the special teams, and similarly with the tackles we picked.

Also the Crabman dropped, and the Jets moved up to get Mark Sanchez, who won’t turn their team around in a season or even two.

But the defining part of the draft?


What the hell are you doing out their crab man?

What the hell are you doing out their crab man?

That’s embarrassing

He’s basically feeling around on one reporter, has the fakest and most embarrassed smile ever, along with looking like an idiot without the facemask.

Maybe he’s trying to bring back the leatherhead days (Thanks Jim Halpert)

I mean, the crab man is old fashioned that way.

Sweet jerseyz btdubz.

Sweet jerseyz btdubz.

The Life of Alexander Ovechkin

April 22, 2009

It’s not just hockey.

It’s chilling with the super hot ESPN reporter Rachel Nichols for E:60.

Let’s just say i’m a little jealous.

She gets to ride in his car, and later asks him how fast he goes in it.

“I go about uhh 160 in the car. When I near my house and stuff.”

That’s a rough direct quote

is there such a thing?


but that’s a rough direct quote of what he says.

And she proceeds to tell him very attractively that it’s illegal and frowned upon(she’s so cute when she follows the rules).

But the first 4 minutes of the video is just a bunch of clips from Ovey.

And every one is as amazing as the last.

He then tries to teach Rachel a move, and then the movie cuts off.


Apparently it’s ovey’s fav move, but i don’t see if rachel pulls it off.

probz cuz when she did she hurt him and that’s why ovey and his caps were struggling in the playoffs.

Now they’re on a roll and gonna win the series anyway.

But the sharks???

Jumbo Joe is being as good as he always is, which is awful.

But they’ll ride the young, huffing and puffing Cheechoo train to victory.

after going down 0-3.

just to make history cuz they know it’s cool.

"This is skate. I put on feet to go 160 mph on ice. Not land. This is gold medal to show i am number one in hockey. I have a missing toof and look better wiffout it. Ask welikesportz."

"This is skate. I put on feet to go 160 mph on ice. Not land. This is gold medal to show i am number one in hockey. I have a missing toof and look better wiffout it. Ask welikesportz."

Yeah, he looks better without that tooth,

it adds to his b.a.ness

just like timmy tim lincecum and his bad teeth.

Both are young superstars who i love

see a theme/??

one of the many biddies. Without a tooth, i'll have you know.

one of the many biddies. Without a tooth, i'll have you know.

and finally……



no caption needed.

i‘m raps wayne gretzky, yes i’m the best and only 22 like alex ovechkin

what greatness

thank you asher.

you are greatness, 4/20.

Greg Paulus

April 17, 2009

Greg Paulus has been offered a scholarship to Michigan by the coach, Rich Rodriguez.

And apparently he has been offered scholarships to other schools too, as he said today on PTI.

Greg was/is the senior guard at Duke who got his job taken by some other kid cuz Coach K wanted to sit by Paulus more often in games because he has a crush on him.

Greg is the best thing to happen to Christian Brothers Academy, besides my dad who also went there.

As much as i hate duke, i’ve always not hated greg as much as the other dukies.

And this is a great option for Greg because he’s not really that good at basketball, and he might as well try something else to make a lil money.

And he can go  to michigan to spice up the best rivalry in college football that doesn’t need spicing.

Ohio state’s D will knock him out every play, but it’d still be awesome to see.

He just belongs in a football uni.

He just belongs in a football uni.

and now….

No photoshop needed. Get owned FS!

No photoshop needed. Get owned FS!

End of Year Awards/ Playoffs

April 16, 2009

I’m gonna do a mondo combo blog on the important end of year awards and playoff predictions.

I’ll start with the important one.

Most Improved Player.

the MIP

Although kevin durant was good last year, he does it all this year.

steal, blocks, scores, assists, and scores on the oklahoma city thunder warnings.

only other competitior is devin harris

went from a decent player to a franchise guard.

Devin Franchise.

it works

Coach of the Year:

Mike Brown?


watching lebrawn do what he do must be sooooo rough.

i’m sorry, do you want me to fan you or anything else while you wait?

how about a coach that did something

Rick Adelman.

took a potential trash team that traded their starting pg and lost tracy mcgrady and his lazy eye.

and they still made the 5 seed and have a great chance of upsetting portland.

but they won’t

Defensive player of the Year:

Dwight howard?


Chris “the Birdman” Andersen?


2.5 blocks a game, and isn’t inconsistent like howard, who either gets 7 or 0

birdman gets 2.5 every night

and how does he get half a block?

don’t worry about it.

6th man

jason terry

it was basically a race to try and talk to terry at the award ceremony as the 2nd man.

2nd? how about TO

travis outlaw.


Derrick Rose is an attractive pick, but not attractive looking.

Brook Lopez is an ugly ogre.

OJ Mayo and Russell Westbrook are beasts, but not quite leaders.

and Eric Gordon only scores.

Derrick by a shaved hair over oj.

If you have a foam finger in this picture, you're ugly. Sorry

If you have a foam finger in this picture, you're ugly. Sorry

and now to the mv3

sorry, mvp

if you want my pick, its d-wade

if u want america’s biased pick, its bron bron

no dis to bronny, but again,

you know how i feel about this.

Now to the playoffs:

Lakers vs. Utah.

Boy do i want utah to win, but lakers are too good.

lakeshow in 6.

Denver vs hornets.

Denver is pretty good, but c-piddy is a beest.

Denver in 7.

San Antone vs Dallas.


dallas in 7.

Portland vs houston

basically a toss-up, i say portland cuz i love brandon roy.

Lakers vs portland

lakers in 4.

dallas vs denver

denver in 5

and then denver beats the lakers in 7 to get to the finals.

now to the east.

cleveland in 4.

doesn’t matter who they play

boston scrapes by chicago, in 6.

orlando beats philly in 6.

Miami Dwyane Wade’s win over atlanta in 6.

i love atlanta, but i think d-wade carries them.

bron vs wade is a great matchup

but bron and his real team wins in 5.

boston loses to orlando because of dwight in 7.

cleveland takes out dwight and the mag in 5.

cleveland vs denver

nobody picked it but me

i like denver and the way they play, but they just can’t get cold.

cleveland in 7.

classic series

and bron and melo duel it out so it’ll be tight.

good job bronny

NHL Playoffs

April 15, 2009

I’m going to break down or breakdown the matchups all the way to the stanley cup.

Don’t thank me, i’m doing it for myself.


Montreal and Boston.

Boston is th3 1 seed, but they go second in that sentence.

boston in 5.

washington vs new york rangers.

obeyknh (obeyknh is ovechkin in russian, i will use that a lot in this article) will put the team on his back and drop his flaming stick after a record 20 goals in one series.

caps in 6.

NJ and carolina.

dont care, brodeur is old but he’ll still win.

pittsburgh vs philly.

people’s matchup.

Let’s just say evgeni the genie told me he was gonna keep outshining sid the disgracefulkid

pitt in 7.

now to the west.

san jose vs anaheim.

sharks in 3.

sharks are so dominant anaheim will just quit after 3 games.

detroit (pronounce de-twa) vs  columbus.

detroit sounds french.

columbus actually made the playoffs thanks to rick nash.

detroit in 5.

vancouver vs st louis.

luongo in 5.

luongo because he will carry the ‘nucks(what a sweet nickname) to the 2nd round.

chicago vs calgary.

jarome iginla, please carry your team.

he won’t so patty kane and jonathan toews will win in 6.

eastern 2nd round.

boston vs pitt.

as much as pittsburgh wants to lose in the stanley cup again this year, they won’t

they’ll lose to marky savard of boston in 5 games.

washington vs NJ

washington easy.

although it will be a good matchup to see obeyknh vs marty.

san jose vs chicago.

chicago can make the upset, but sharks are too amazing

sharkies in 7.

vancouver vs detwa

i like vancouver, and i hate detwa.

so i’ll pick the ‘nucks just to pick my first and probably only upset.

‘nucks in 7.

staying in the west, finals is sharks and ‘nucks.

i like the sharks in 6, maybe even 5.

that’s the only fact i don’t know.

back to the east…

washington vs boston.

timmy thomas won’t get smacked by sean avery, but his gaa will get smacked by obeyknh’s flaming hot stick.

washington in 6.

so the stanley cup final will be san jose sharks vs the washington alexander obeyknh’s.

i think obeyknh will beast it up as he always does, and i think he’ll carry his team to drink from lord stanley’s cup.

caps in 7.

so there you go, guaranteed 100% accurate except for the games in the sharks vs ‘nucks series.

if i get that wrong, i’ll be 99.8% right, not 99.9% because i’m tired of listerine saying they’ll kill 99.9% of the germs.

ya right

and if you use it twice do you get that last .1% of the germs.

probz no, because if they can escape one, they can escape two.

so germs in 1 game over listerine.

wait a minute,

nope nevermind.

ovechkin will have 40+ goals in the playoffs.

nearly as many as he had in the reg season.

but he can turn it on when he has to.

and he will.

i hate you listerine...

i hate you listerine...

bring this celebration back

bring this celebration back


back to back pictures with no words in between.

unheard of.

even FS!(lame) can’t pull that off.

but i can and will forever more.

Jussi Jokinen

April 14, 2009